The Bard's Tale – The Tale of Nuckelavee 0

I'll tattle a tale that is terribly true.
Started out as a rumor, but suddenly grew.
And it deals with a man, and a horse, and a ring.
So settle on in and our song we shall sing.

It happened one day in a ring by a farm
Somethin' that tragically brought us much harm
How could a place abundant with charm
Create such a beast with a spear for an arm.

On death and destruction is what you will get
When he's coming for you and your kilt you will wet.
And he's big and he's strong and its quite plain to see.
That this is the Tale of the Nuckelavee.

Nuckelavee! Oh Nuckelavee
You're big and evil and heinous
Who could it be who set you free?
He really must be an anus.

Oh Nuckelavee it's easy to see
the terror you leave is raining on me.
The village is burned and the taverns are missed
and the beer is all gone and the elders are pissed.

And if they ever should find the fool
They'll hang him upside down by his tool
And spin him around until he gets sick
Ooh! Aah! Oh, that should do the trick.

Nuckelavee! Oh Nuckelavee
The terror you offer is high class
Who could it be who set you free?
He really must be a dumbass.

Nuckelavee! Oh Nuckelavee
The horror you furnish is widespread
Who could it be who set you free?
He really must be an ox-head.

Now everyone knows no blood should spill
In the sacred ring by the farm on the hill
And if this ever happens then Death you should fear.
He'll kick in your nuts and he'll serve them with beer.

So one final thought before I depart,
And this my friends comes straight from the heart.
We'd all be fine if not for that bell
And that horse killing wanker who opened up hell.

Nuckelavee! Oh Nuckelavee
We cannot win we must admit
Who could it be who set you free?
He really must be a dimwit.

Nuckelavee! Oh Nuckelavee
You're big and evil and heinous
Who could it be who set you free?
He really must be an anus.